Panther 发表于 2010-1-24 20:42



peterpan1668 发表于 2010-1-25 08:47

Montreal City Driving Rules

             Crazy Days in the French Lane (full article)   

[*]         A right-lane construction closure is just a game to see how         many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you         sit in the left lane waiting for the same drivers to squeeze         their way back in before hitting the orange construction         barrels.
[*]         Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Quebec         driver never uses them. Use of them in Montreal may be illegal.
[*]         Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance         between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be         filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more         dangerous situation.
[*]         Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is         considered "going with the flow."
[*]         The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the         chance you have of getting hit.
[*]         Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
[*]         Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure         that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as         the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a         chance to stretch your legs.
[*]         Construction signs warn you about road closures immediately         after you pass the last exit before the backup.
[*]         Electronic traffic warning signs are not there to provide         useful information. They are only there to make Quebec look         high-tech, and to distract you from seeing the provincial         police radar car parked on the median.
[*]         Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right.
[*]         Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions,         and are apparently not enforceable during rush hour.
[*]         Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed         up or move over doesn't mean that a Quebec driver flashing his         high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your         spot.
[*]         Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident, or         even if someone is just changing a tire.
[*]         Throwing litter on the roads adds color to the landscape and         gives Adopt-a-Highway crews something to clean up.
[*]         It is assumed that provincial police cars passing at high         speed may be followed in the event you need to make up a few         minutes on your way to work,or the beach.
[*]         Learn to swerve abruptly. Quebec is the home of high-speed         slalom driving thanks to potholes.
[*]         It is traditional in Quebec to honk your horn at cars that         don't move the instant the light changes.
[*]         Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of         way,except in Montreal where it acts as an invitation to duel         or play chicken.
[*]         Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and         left before proceeding. In Quebec it is common to stop and then         decide which direction to turn.
[*]         Remember that the goal of every Quebec driver is to get there         first, by whatever means necessary.
[*]         Real Quebec female drivers can put on pantyhose, apply eye         makeup, and balance the checkbook at seventy-five miles per         hour during a snowstorm in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
[*]         Real Quebec male drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at         seventy-five miles per hour in bumper-to-bumper traffic during         daylight hours (who would want to at night?).
[*]         Heavy snow, ice, fog, and rain are no reasons to change any of         the previously listed rules. These weather conditions are God's         way of ensuring a natural selection process for body shops,         junkyards,and new vehicle sales.

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